Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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