Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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