wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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