Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
