and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
