I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize