Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize