So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
