I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
