Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
