Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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