The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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