i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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