btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
false alarm. still invincible.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
