I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
