i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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