I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize