Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
