just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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