Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
