So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
