i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
