I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
