I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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