Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
