Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Send help, water and tortillas.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
