Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
