Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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