My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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