Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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