all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
