Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize