dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
