he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
love makes seman taste better
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
