remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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