Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
