so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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