I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
