who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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