who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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