"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
