So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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