butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
