I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
