Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
