Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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