He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
