Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
