i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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