The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
