he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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