it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
