nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
