just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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