i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
