i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize