Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
