I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
