When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
