I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
